When I first started this blog, I had no idea where it was going to land. It was a "One Way Ticket" with an undetermined destination. I started thinking a lot about the things that were missing in my life, and I decided that love was the biggest piece of my puzzle still missing, so it appears that this is turning into a blog all about relationship advice, I'm okay with that, are you?
I have went on some dates since I've been here in Houston, talked to plenty of men, and what I'm finding is that most people don't appear to take dating seriously. The easiest question that the guys I have talked to fail on is, "What are your deal breakers?"
Deal breakers are often to referred to by most matchmakers and relationship coaches as "non-negotiables". They are the list of qualities you refuse to settle on. Most people immediately think of this list as phsysical characteristics of their dream partner like;
1. 6'2 and taller
2. toned body
3. brown hair
While those are okay to include, I feel its also important to include meaningful non-physical attributes in a partner. Here's my list if you're interested.
1. Must have ambition
2. Needs to be able to take charge in a relationship
3. Cannot be a dream killer
These are the top 3 things I look for in a person that I will not compromise on, that is essentially my line in the sand when it comes to scouting out a potential partner. Pretty simple right? #2 was just added recently when I figured out that I am in charge in all other areas of my life, the relationship is one area that I would like to have somebody else take the wheel on. Sure, I'll provide input and read a map every once in a while, but I just don't have the energy in a day to come up with every aspect at putting the relationship together. I'm sure I'm not alone in this way of thinking, maybe this is important to a lot of you, you've just never been able to put it into words, or even think that you were allowed.
If you're single, take some time to think about what your deal breakers would be, and the next time you are on a date put the list next to the person your with and if they are missing even one of them, then move on. Don't waste time because you will not be happy in the end.
If you're currently in a relationship make the list and see if your significant other is in line with what you won't compromise in. If he or she isn't, its okay, it doesn't mean you have to break up with the person, but you should definitely have a conversation about the things that are important to you. For example, everyone has ambition, some just don't voice it because they feel insecure about expressing their dreams and life goals, but when they feel comfortable doing it, they soon find that its easier to measure success if someone else hears their goals.
Sometimes your partner just needs to be reminded. Brad Paisley with Carrie Underwood "Remind Me"
